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what do you all think?

 
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ankhesenamun 3s
Servant


Joined: 18 Nov 2005
Posts: 25
Location: by the nile

PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 5:10 am    Post subject: what do you all think? Reply with quote

friends egyptians writers lend me your advice. writers block seems to be a strong thin say. if you were a pharaoh age 18. and you are sick with a diesise like cancer you know one that can't go away . and you are not expected to have an hier do to this. but almost suceeded but your child died and now your wife is of lost face and barley makes a sound. and this pharaoh loves life but hates the things in it. sorry i can't give to much info but mabey one of you could tell me your thoughts on my book so i can make changes for the better. Very Happy Idea p.s please just dont view but replie every thought counts even that of the loley ones Wink
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 5:10 am    Post subject: Advertisement

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*EgYpTiAn*GoDdEsS*
Egyptian Architect


Joined: 29 Sep 2005
Posts: 165
Location: Portland Victoria

PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 10:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

well do you want us to tell you how it sounds already or would you like us to try and help you unblock the writers block?!
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Unas
Pharaoh


Joined: 26 Feb 2005
Posts: 606
Location: Saqqara... someday...

PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 5:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It depends on how noble the pharaoh is... Or rather, what drives his nobility. If he cared more for his land, he would be apt to "go out with a bang"; do something for his people, work a treaty, kill an angry hippo.. If he cared more for his dynasty, he would try again for a son no matter the cost (think Henry VIII and his six wives).

As per my thoughts on the book, it sounds like you're putting in some elements that make for a good write and an interesting read; but, like I mentioned in my other post, you need to think about the audience. The average person might not catch some historical innacuracies (cancer is a big one. There is no possible way the ancient Egyptians knew anything of it!!). If you want to target an audience who knows the subject, then you might want to make it a little more realistic. That is, unless this is your deliberate purpose, which is perfectly fine anyways. I see it like a video game. I love realistic games with unrealistic elements, like a shooter with lasers.
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ankhesenamun 3s
Servant


Joined: 18 Nov 2005
Posts: 25
Location: by the nile

PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 6:35 pm    Post subject: oops sorry Reply with quote

it's not cancer just something of that sort it can't be cured was what i was meaning by that. but no there is no cancer as for the audiance well it really is a whoever when ever title. for any one who walks in to books a million and buys it just as long as they under stand the plot. but i gusse because it goese so deep into despairis affairs it would probaly be better for a more matuer adiuance not haven to know a lot about egypt. Shocked
O crap. my cat is playing with a snake! Shocked oh and i almost forgot egyptian godess go ahead my family wont tell me how it sounds so i'm all ears which is just two. i'm coming kitty!
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my love he has joind the world of the unspeaking one. and has yet left me behind and now i sore on broken wings to my true love find.
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*EgYpTiAn*GoDdEsS*
Egyptian Architect


Joined: 29 Sep 2005
Posts: 165
Location: Portland Victoria

PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 10:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

aaww how cute.. was it hurt?! i love kitties! i have 4 kittens now! well it sounds really good! not alot of information but u can't let too much loose. i like the he had a chile but died bit... maybe he can marry another and have her child! i dunno but it sounds good!
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ankhesenamun 3s
Servant


Joined: 18 Nov 2005
Posts: 25
Location: by the nile

PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 9:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy no my cat is fine. with his big body he could probaly crush that snake any ways it was just a little snake a little green one which vanised into the ground Shocked thanks for the concern Smile
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my love he has joind the world of the unspeaking one. and has yet left me behind and now i sore on broken wings to my true love find.
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Ankhesenamun_1
Egyptian Architect


Joined: 03 Dec 2005
Posts: 155
Location: United States of America

PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2005 2:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your story sounds good. Very Happy I'm a writer too, but I don't write about AE. I wish I could, but that's just not my style. I write more present-day realistic fiction... but I love reading about AE.
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arnold
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Joined: 30 Mar 2006
Posts: 5

PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 6:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Every disease has a cure , that is my opinion
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